Finding Harmony in the Emotional and Non-Emotional Couple

A student recently asked while in class, “How does the emotional and non-emotional work together in harmony as a couple?” It was obvious that he was being challenged in his relationship, making relating difficult or slightly challenging.

It made me chuckle to hear the question because it is a conundrum for many. The two different types feel as though they are from two different planets.

Probably, the best tool for any couple with this composite is the understanding that Human Design provides in its identification of those two vastly different types of definition.

For instance, the non-emotional being is naturally cool, detached and self-absorbed, for the most part. The emotionally defined being is warm, juicy, sensitive, reactive and dramatic.

The non-emotional usually, has instant awareness of what it wants to do or thinks is correct for itself. The emotional defined has an immediate reaction of “what?” Suddenly, it can’t think, has no clarity or is somewhat confused. There is a cloud that covers the ability for the emotionally defined to see, to know or to grasp in the immediate now, it seems.

When you put the two types together as a couple, things change dramatically. Suddenly, the cool, calm guy that you thought you met and fell in love with has suddenly become a soft, sensitive, sappy, doting kind of guy. The emotionally defined woman is now cool, jumping on things or she is naturally following the lead of her lover, moving in a state of confusion or fantasy, with a lack of patience planted into the system. Great opportunities are missed because of hasty action, lack of patience and following someone else’s life trajectory.

This is how it can play out in the relationship, immediately upon mixing auras through love-making. Gradually, over time, the two types begin to change drastically from when they first met and take on the others characteristics, with a slightly distorted twist.

For the emotionally defined, when in relationship with a non-emotional type, the issues rise-up concerning honesty, transparent communication and realistic concerns. An emotionally defined being can sense when information is being held back or if it is untruthful and will react abruptly, emotionally. This is where the struggles mount, in the lack of ability to be fully honest, by the undefined Solar Plexus and the lack of ability to hold one’s center, in the midst of confusion, like the defined Solar Plexus.

So how does the two types of definition work together in harmony?

In psychic observation, when two people come together, no matter what definition, there is an automatic imprint of the others aura. The auras of the lovers’ merge into one larger aura that transcends time and space. Even if one lover is on one side of the world, the larger aura continues to stay merged as one entity. The two literally become one, as long as the couple remain together or until replaced or forgotten.

When a person decides to “fall in love” and enter into affection or love-making, they naturally merge as one entity, no matter how much in love or out of love the two may be. Even a kiss will merge auras for approximately three days. You can read more in my article: That First Kiss.

Understanding that the individuals inside the relationship are going to change dramatically, is important.


Usually, the non-emotional being is thinking that it doesn’t want to deal with the repercussions of an overly-reactive emotional lover. The non-emotional will naturally censor and hold back information in an effort to soften the reaction of the emotional one. What they don’t realize is that if they are honest, things tend to fade into a soft discussion. For the emotionally defined already senses the truth but is unable to articulate it. To express what it senses and feels, allows the emotional being to relax into authenticity and integrity.

So, by being utterly honest in all communication, one can relieve many challenges and hardships between the two vastly different types of definition.

By having a sense of humor regarding the differences, the tensions can be diffused allowing for a more loving embrace towards the one chosen to love.

Find ways to laugh together






Written by Kashi Stone, November 2017

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