Finding Harmony in the Emotional and Non-Emotional Couple

A student recently asked while in class, “How does the emotional and non-emotional work together in harmony as a couple?” It was obvious through his experience in his relationship that the two differences in definition, have a friction that can make love relating difficult or slightly challenging.

It made me chuckle to hear the question because it is a conundrum for many. The two different types of definition, in contrast, feel as though they are from two different planets. It can breed fertile ground for lots of challenges and misunderstandings, yet highly seductive dancing amongst the two types of chemistry.

Probably, the best tool for any couple with this composite is the understanding that Human Design provides in its identification of those two vastly different types of definition.

For instance, the non-emotional being is naturally cool, detached and self-absorbed, for the most part. The emotionally defined being is warm, juicy, sensitive, reactive and dramatic. The two types of definition are comparably, drastically different in their realities and experience of life.

The non-emotional usually, has instant awareness of what it wants to do or thinks is correct for itself. The emotional defined has an immediate reaction of “what?” Suddenly, it can’t think, has no clarity or is somewhat confused. There is a cloud that covers the ability for the emotionally defined to see, to know or to grasp in the immediate now, it seems.

When you put the two types together as a couple, things change dramatically. Suddenly, the cool, calm guy that you thought you met and fell in love with has suddenly become a soft, sensitive, sappy, doting kind of guy. The emotionally defined woman is now cool, jumping on things or she is naturally following the lead of her lover, moving in a state of confusion or fantasy, with a lack of patience planted into the system. Great opportunities are missed because of hasty action and lack of patience.

This is how it can play out in the relationship, immediately upon mixing auras through love-making. Gradually, over time, the two types begin to change drastically from when they first met and take on the others characteristics, with a slightly distorted twist.

For the emotionally defined, when in relationship with a non-emotional type, the issues rise-up concerning honesty, transparent communication and realistic concerns. An emotionally defined being can sense when information is being held back or untruthful and will react abruptly, emotionally explosive or hyper-sensitively. This is where the struggles mount, in the lack of ability to be fully honest and the lack of ability to hold one’s center, in the midst of confusion.

So how does the two types of definition work together in harmony?

In psychic observation, when two people come together, no matter what definition, there is an automatic imprint of the others aura in each of the auras. The auras of the lovers’ merge into one larger aura that transcends time and space. Even if one lover is on one side of the world and the other lover is on another side, the larger aura continues to stay merged as one entity. The two literally become one, as long as the couple remain together or until replaced or forgotten.

When a person decides to “fall in love” and enter into affection or love-making, they naturally merge as one entity, no matter how much in love or out of love the two may be. Even a kiss will merge auras for approximately three days. You can read more in my article: That First Kiss.

Understanding that no matter what, the couple is going to change dramatically is important.


Usually, the non-emotional being is thinking that it doesn’t want to deal with the repercussions of an overly-reactive emotional lover. What they don’t realize is that if they are honest, things tend to fade into a soft discussion. For the emotionally defined expressing what it senses and feels, validating its natural psychic sense, it begins to relax.

So, by being utterly honest in all communication, one can relieve many challenges and hardships between the two vastly different types of definition.

By having a sense of humor regarding the differences, the tensions can be diffused allowing for a more loving embrace towards the one chosen to love.






Written by Kashi Stone, November 2017