The Defined Ego Woman

It can be difficult being a Defined Will (35%) in a predominantly Undefined Will world (65%). I am defined through the 44-26, the Transmitter Channel. My gate 44 is activated four times so there is a strong instinctive move in my navigation. It is also a movement and a frequency that is unusual to most.

The following story is about a group that interacts organically, allowing for independent expression, encompassing a variety of definitions and types. The purpose of the story is to demonstrate the subtle energetics of the two definitions and shed some light on why things may be happening and to demonstrate how it feels to be a minority amongst the collective.

The scene takes place in a small, country town in Louisiana. The collective manages a community environment that contains a restaurant, dance club, tea lounge, juice bar and coffee house. There are studios, vendor booths and beautiful gardens in the environment.

The collective is comprised of seven men, four women, a cat and two dogs. Most of the crew are Generators and Manifesting Generators, two are Projectors, one is a Reflector. All of the crew but two have open Will Centers.

It was Monday; the group had decided to gather for their weekly meeting on that following Wednesday afternoon. Sheila had arranged to meet with Diane an hour and half before the collective group meeting at 11:00.

Sheila holds the position of General Manager and Diane holds the position of Special Events Coordinator. With the position of General Manager also comes a level of authority over the operations, staff and budget, working as a liaison for the owner of the business. Shirley was well suited for the role having experience in managing businesses and staff successfully for small and large projects. Diane had minimal experience running a business but had tremendous enthusiasm for the collective vision.

Sheila, the General Manager is a Defined Will, Diane, the Special Events Coordinator is a Generator with an Undefined Will with an open Throat.
The owner of the company also has an Undefined Will and is a Projector.

This group collaboration can be a dance in grace and ease or it can become the “tug of war” that occurs between the two definitions. The two distinct definitions are surfing a subtle competitive interaction that is always there underneath. It is very confusing and disturbing to everyone that is feeling and noticing the “strangeness”.

This is what it looks like for Shirley, the Defined Will character of our story, in most of her day to day interactions moving and interacting amongst the majority.

Diane, the Undefined Will Special Events Coordinator, by character, is threatened immediately by the Defined Will of Sheila who has a natural confidence and ease in being herself. A comparison begins inside Diane upon first meeting Sheila and a subtle competition starts for control and power.

Because of Diane’s insecurity and tendency to compare herself, unconsciously, out of habit, she will try to attract more attention because of her open Throat Center, causing the group to focus more on her. She will also prove how more attractive, smarter and clever she is than Sheila. Diane uses the attention to take control and to try and lead the group. She now feels some false relief in feeling worthy and significant by finding some way to gain power of the group over Sheila. But the subtle energies underneath the interaction feel very, very strange to both women, everyone in the group and others around them.

The owner of the business who is a Projector with an undefined Will is bitter after so many years of not being recognized properly for who she is and exhausted because of her tendency to jump ahead, skipping steps, thinking she is a Manifesting Generator, trying to make things happen, working around the clock.

When the Projector, Business owner interacts with Sheila, she automatically feels a need to prove that she is in control and making all final decisions whilst giving power to Sheila and asking her to run the business. The Business owner can see that Sheila has a lot of energy and skill. Sheila loves her job and does not want to cause waves so she bends to the command of the owner and abides by her will. But there is tension underneath the connection as Sheila struggles to do her job efficiently while the owner desperately expends energy to prove her own abilities and take power over Sheila.

Six out of seven of the men in the collective have Undefined Will’s. One Character, a Manifesting Generator who has an open Will Center, is inexperienced, very insecure about his ability to step up to his commitments and being recognized as a valuable asset to the collective. Because of this insecurity, he begins to argue and rebel against Sheila and the system that she has put in place. Whenever he has an opportunity, he tells Sheila what she should be doing, how to do it and what she is doing wrong. Sheila knows he has no professional experience running businesses and is not impressed with all of his ideas on how to manage her department but every once in awhile he will throw out a nugget. He silently plans a coup to overthrow Sheila so that he can be in control and run the project. He does all that he can to prove the inadequacy of Sheila as a General Manager and where she may be creating failure, pointing things out to the group. His open Will is about to explode all over the entire project.

Another male MG is more mature and a little wiser. However, he holds a silent, passive aggressive edge towards Sheila because she does not return his interest and desires for affection. He feels that he is in love with Sheila and becomes quietly angry with Sheila for not wanting to kiss him, have sex with him or enter into a romantic dance with him. He begins to plot how he can strike out and hurt Sheila in front of the group, humiliating her, bringing some false sense of relief that he has brought vengeance to his frustration with her and the rejection he is feeling. Sheila is a 5/1 so she can feel the attack brewing and beginning to form underneath the social plane. Soon, if this MG has his way, there will be a burning at the stake. If Sheila can exit the group before the coup, she may save face.

A third MG is the only other person with a Defined Will, whenever he sees Sheila, he calls her “Queen” which makes her smile and relax, she is not alone. This MG is not challenged or threatened by Sheila, at all. When the two sit and talk it easy, light and smooth, no hidden tension from the insecurity that broods inside the Undefined Will. This MG also looks for ways to support Sheila in what she is doing and offers her small gifts from time to time to show his appreciation for her hard work and dedication. It is a pleasant friendship with a tone of appreciation for each others uniqueness.

The male Projector recognizes Sheila’s skills and abilities and holds her in a place of respect. Even though he has an Undefined Will, he is comfortable with who he is and enjoys the position of assisting Sheila with administration. Sheila relies on the Projector to see things she can’t see and to provide insight to the process of the project. The Projector is Sheila’s most trusted ally. Their work flows effortlessly with little communication and is highly productive.

Two of the males are Generators and are busy doing their own thing and enjoying their responsibilities. They don’t pay too much attention to what the others are doing in the group and are happy that Sheila brings structure to the project as they go about their business. The Reflector is grateful that Sheila arrived and is establishing structure. He requests to stay included in any way he can and to stay a part of the collective.

Wednesday arrives and it is time for Sheila and Diane to meet and have their department meeting. Sheila prepares for the meeting and walks downstairs to meet with Diane where the staff gathers for meetings. Diane does not arrive, does not call, does not text and the meeting does not happen.

The collective meeting begins an hour later. Most of the group arrives on time and they begin to discuss how the project will move forward. Sheila presents a plan that she had been working on that demonstrates how the group can benefit and be a success. The group discusses, modifies, improves and approves the structure and makes plans on how to move forward.

Diane shows up two and half hours after the meeting starts. Just as the meeting adjourns, Diane informs everyone that she has a plan, investors and informs the group how they will be moving forward. The group is a little confused but feels some structure and move forward according to Sheila’s guidance concerning present issues and tasks at hand. Diane brings a message of hope and excitement colored with a little confusion; she is cute and fun so everyone carries on with their tasks at hand with a smile and enthusiasm for what is to come.

Diane informs Sheila after the meeting that she will be bringing an investor by on the following day to see the facility and to talk with her regarding investing in the project. When the investor arrives the next day, they sit and visit with one of the staff managers from the collective, asks questions and share in their plans.

The staff manager informs them to go and find Sheila and share their ideas with her since she is the one managing the financial matters and business planning of the greater vision.

When the investor meets Sheila, she is withdrawn and apprehensive. Sheila notices the strange greeting with the investor and realizes that she may be reacting and projecting based on previous conversations with Diane . The investor quickly exits the room where Sheila is working and takes off with Diane to find the owner of the business.

When the investor and Diane find the owner, they begin sharing their ideas and dreams. The owner of the business informs them that they should go and talk with Sheila for she has the structure and plans for the project. Diane and the investor inform the business owner that they are not interested in talking with Sheila and would rather talk with the owner directly. The three women sit and have their discussion and plan to meet again in the near future.

No one says a word to Sheila about the meeting or the discussion and what their plans are.

In the morning, the owner of the business sends out an email to the group informing them that they will be having a meeting to discuss planning and procedures. The email spoke of a bonus plan that Sheila had put in place for the group but now it had been extended to hourly employees, as well, very different than the original structure created for the collective. It spoke of an employee dinner and menu samples for a menu that had not been created yet and addressed the various staff in appreciation. Every one in the collective was mentioned but Sheila. The email created even more confusion in the chain of command for efficiency.

Later in the day, Diane arrives at the venue. She informs everyone that she is creating a group, much like the collective structure already in place. This “new” group would be investing and running the venue. She would get back with us and let us know when they would be stepping in and taking over. She was very proud of herself and feeling in control of the destiny of the project and the venue. The group became a little more confused about their roles, their future and their security. Moral began to dip a bit as the dreams, goal and vision began to change and go in another direction out of the hands of the collective and into the direction of the competing open Will who was desperately looking for significance and a band aid for her insecure nature.

The business owner continues her own development, relying on Sheila to make certain decisions for the benefit of the company and its future. This also provided an excellent avenue for blame for when things go array. Sheila is unable to coordinate her efforts with the business owner because the business owner is threatened by Sheila’s skill and experience.

The owner uses Sheila’s ideas and structure to model her own efforts at proving that she is capable and in control. The collective watches, loses moral and becomes the group becomes even more confused.

Sheila is exhausted with battling Diane and the business owner, she is disheartened that her friend who is the mature MG is subtly passive aggressive in his insecurity and pain playing the “Martyr” who is suffering in rejection. The younger MG who insists on being in control (gate 21) is doing all that he can to exhaust Sheila and win the “Battle of the Wills”. This is not a battle she will ever win nor is she interested in competing to win. If she wanted him fired and gone, she knew that she could do that.

The next morning, a few of the people from the collective decided to gather for breakfast and invite Sheila. They informed her that they had a meeting off site together with Diane and a few others on the previous evening. They had determined what they would do, how they would do it and that it was going to be a success.

Sheila grew quiet and heavy in heart. She had lost the loyalty of the collective and no longer needed to be their General Manager. It was exhausting. The Undefined Wills had won and now it was time for Sheila to leave. She was no longer needed, respected or recognized. The few who appreciated her asked her to stay but she knew it was not enough or even worth it to battle and be in stress.

Even though Sheila entered into the project correctly as an Emotional Generator, things changed dramatically, quickly. She refused the opportunity for the position a few times before finally accepting the position of general manager. It was the group and the business owner who pulled her out. They insisted that she manage the business, administrate and oversee the projects. It was Diane who made the most noise in the beginning asking for structure and a manager with vision. Sheila seemed like the perfect fit.

The subtle personality characteristics can change a correct decision rapidly. Sheila can continue to try and hold her position within the group but the energetics demonstrates that it would be disastrous to fight control for the operations. The open Will’s are determined to have power over Sheila and are set on challenging her strength at managing a business. They are determined to prove that they are the one’s with the skill, know how and ability to run a business. The loyalty from staff is lost through the competition of personalities and a break down occurs in the matrix of manifestation, productivity and success.

The handful of other open Will’s who are male, Projector, Reflector and Generator communicate to Sheila their gratitude for the structure and organization but as Sheila knows, the loyalty of a few in the group is not enough to sustain the original vision and the plan to achieve it.

The undefined Wills win the battle. Sheila is too exhausted with all of the competition and finds it difficult to hold her position of authority in managing the structure.

Sheila’s heart feels heavy but she knows its time to move on and try again. Hopefully, next time they wont be so insecure and competitive.

 

Written by Kashi Stone, 2014

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