Human Design and Dating

There has been lots of discussion, lately, regarding a Human Design dating website. It makes me chuckle, I have been there too. A few years into my process with the science, I thought for sure a dating site was the next big answer, even to the point of constructing a Human Design website in 2010, with my partner at the time, Richard Beaumont with Human Design UK. For months, ten to fourteen hours a day, we worked to create a platform for lovers to meet through Human Design.

After approximately six months into the daily, grueling grind of website design, development, functionality and management to develop the “perfect” Human Design mating system, it became incredibly obvious, Human Design could not connect people through a dating platform. No matter how you slice the dice, HD does not fit for mating. It was a big mistake and a huge waste of time and money.

As Ra Uru Hu pointed out repeatedly, dating and romantic love have nothing to do with the Human Design system. 

When I first started studying electromagnetics, It was cool to see who I was attracted to and why. It was very interesting to watch what would play through the electromagnetic connections and how my body or mind would respond to the different types of connections. But what I have found is that electromagnetics are hot and juicy but absolutely useless in making important decisions in life. Electromagnetics create more confusion and lots of juicy romantic mental tapes that really distract and busy the mind; they can be really, really fun, super yum and juicy and very, very tricky. Electromagnetic mental tapes will convince a person into the most incorrect situations, they are very, very powerful.

The Human Design Bodygraph does not indicate the gender of a person nor the romantic destiny, or the “husband or wife”, nor does one see how many children they are going to have or how long they will be in love.

So, no, Human Design and dating do not go together.  Human Design was designed for: empowerment of self through knowing and understanding how one operates so that one can get the best experiences and feel good about who they are in the world. Through living that understanding, one naturally travels the path that brings the best experiences, the right people and the correct environment. 

So, how do you love and still be you?

The purpose of Human Design is to learn about who we are whole, centered and tuned into our body’s voice, not our groin. So, using HD as a tool for mating, relating and creating bonds, is actually working against the goal behind Ra’s vision with this science.  After all, HD does teach the importance of sleeping alone in one’s aura -far away from other bodies in order to empty out and be Self.

Sleeping alone to empty the aura and waking up centered and clear, is the primary place to start so one can see who they truly are. Keep in mind, it takes time to empty the aura when one has shared intimate, sexual space with someone. It can take days, it can take weeks, it can take months even a full year or more, depending on how long one has been merged and how many years one has been sleeping with a lover, dog or child near them.

How is Human Design best used?

Human Design does show great connections for working together, creating community together, supporting each other in endeavors and who has the potential to become a good friend. 

Human Design is also a fabulous tool for understanding the personalities that surround one or who one is working with. If someone is non-emotional and one is emotional, then there may be difficulty relating and communicating; there are going to be misunderstandings, truth may get covered up, hidden, distorted or not spoken and there will be this looming feeling as though both come from two different planets: one is slow and one is very fast.

And then there are the defined Ajna’s. A defined Ajna can be very, very helpful in many cases. However, they can be very difficult for an empty head who cannot take in so much information and can cause a headache. Usually, a defined Ajna does not wait for an invitation to offer their opinion. Often, they let others “know” what they know. A question I often hear from a defined Ajna is “Would you like to hear about this?” It’s difficult to be honest because if one responds with “no’, it can seem rude.

Equally challenging are the open Throat beings. The “unaware” open Throat Center being, aches for attention with a streaming, non-stop, download of information and continuous interruptions. It is best for the open Throat to not speak first, allowing the defined to initiate conversation. It makes a huge difference in relating with the world, just understanding that simple rule.

And then there is the imprint of Types. Even if the Manifestor seems like the kindest, most loving human on the planet, there is still the imprint of anger in their aura and for a Generator or Projector, that can be a very tough energy to process in their system. A similar influence happens with Manifesting Generators, which can be more impactful than the Manifestor. The same can happen with the mix of other types, too, Projectors relating romantically, with the need for the right kind of attention, to be recognized properly or simply, exhausted from keeping up with someone who has a few motors and a Sacral defined. Projectors get the right recognition in the right kind of work, so this misplaced need for energy in romance creates more problems than necessary and certainly, lots of missed opportunities that Projectors crave.

And last, most importantly, is the relationship dynamic of the undefined and defined ego. As Ra has stated in his lectures on romance, the undefined ego will compete with the defined ego until death. This is an obvious truth in my experience. Often, undefined Ego’s copy the work of the defined ego that they are hoping to destroy and desperately seek power over while they strategize the demise of reputation and vie for positioning. Electromagnetics or not, it does not matter, the combination of the two definitions creates fertile ground for serious, unpleasant trouble. Thank heavens for the law of karma that brings balance.

What we find is that the key in romance is taking lots of SPACE so that one can feel their own chemistry and true definition. And in that awareness, surrender to operating and fulfilling one’s life path and destiny. That is how one uses Human Design.

But the mind…….ahhhh the mind loves a good story.

Enjoy learning and watching the mechanics.



Kashi Stone 2015

Comments are closed.