In the early nineties, my mid-thirties, I acquired a job at a metropolitan alternative newspaper. My boss was an unusual, lovely character. His educational pursuit had led him into eastern mystical studies, gurus, yoga, meditation and a vast library on the topic. Somehow he maintained one foot in the mystical world and one foot in the material world. It was impressive.
I remember, when I would be in a heated moment of frustration he would whisper to me , “e…qua….ni….mi….ty”. He would say it so gentle, so soft, so wise, and deeply into my eyes. In that moment, I would look at him and think to myself, “Ya, rite, what is that?”
equanimity |ˌēkwəˈnimitē; ˌekwə-|
mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, esp. in a difficult situation : she accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity.
I have always been an emotionally passionate person. I have worn my emotions on “my sleeve”, as they say. Throughout the years, especially with family, I have bore my sadness, disappointment, anger or excitement without the maturity to carry me in grace.
Equanimity had been far away from my awareness throughout my youth.
One day while working at the newspaper, I heard a woman’s voice. I was so taken by the tone that I had to find out who she was. I immediately signed up for a session with her. Her aura was lovely, soft and smooth and very healing for me as I was taken by the tone of her voice.
We began with a series of sessions that took me through a number of progressive visualizations that began to wake me up, stir my essence and redirect my path.
I soon realized that I wanted to tread a different path in life and seeker a deeper meaning to who I am and why I am here. I loved working at the newspaper. I was very successful in the role that I operated in. But, I became restless, feeling as tho it was time to unplug from the world and journey into a personal experience of self discovery.
The work with this woman led me into making a decision to leave the newspaper job and to open up my own women’s spirituality shop. During that time, I intensified my practice of yoga, meditation and amplified my purification. After a period of a few years, I began to have Kundalini risings. A whole new chemistry was beginning to take shape in my being.
Through my purification process, my blood cleansed, my nature changed, my aura emptied and my Emotional body became very still, quiet and equanimous.
I began to fall into a different kind of existence that moved with nature and relied entirely on serendipity. This new rhythm changed my chemistry so radically that I began to taste the fruits of what it is like to have a quiet, still, clear emotional system that no longer ruled my day nor my mind.
Instead, a quality of joy unlike I have ever known entered my being as life began to look very different. Suddenly, I began to see beauty in all directions. This was not a delusional perspective, this was true ecstasy moving through my body and holding me in a state of equanimity radiating out a force of love and showering me with Kundalini Risings each day, deep in the experience of equanimity.
Finally, I had begun to see what equanimity truly looksed like and feel it in my being. No longer was it an illusion for now, it had become my daily meditation practice. The best way to describe it is “calm” and super relaxed. There was no hurry, no haste, no imposition of another. I was alone and on my own, in a state of surrender and it was blissful.
I changed my lifestyle radically and spent most of my time living outside, free from the constraints of the modern world. My life became much slower as I could feel the sensation of initiation and learned to avoid doing it. I also, started to feel what was correct instead of trying to figure things out mentally.
Eventually, through my heightened psychic abilities that had developed, I could also see that this state is inherent in all beings. Everyone was just asleep to this hidden gift.
Understanding that each person is unique, takes away blame, fear, confusion, or an overly stimulated mind.
Using Strategy and Authority can help take one to that place of equanimity. It’s not the answer but it’s a wonderful step in the right direction.
Kashi Stone 2014