Archive for the SELF LOVE Category

The Beauty of a Woman

Posted in JOY, ROMANCE, SELF LOVE on August 2, 2018 by Kashi


“I need a serious social life change, starving
for something solid, real and present.
Especially when it comes to a woman.
Yes I am proud to say woman I need you like the flowers need sun, rain, air.
You give me life and fill me with energy.
Without you I do wither in spirit.”


The statement above was written by a male friend of mine. It touched me deeply because it reflects the state of mind that most of the men around me have been expressing to me in different ways. I am hearing from many men that they desperately need the feminine energy near them, with them, in their life in some way.

I began asking this question a few months ago, curious about what drives most people – their creativity or the idea of love. I soon realized that almost every maN answers these questions with a similar response.

“What are your predominant thoughts about finding the “One”?

Are you focused, in the back of your mind on finding the “One” someday or does your mind entertain thoughts of your creativity and direction in life? What holds the most weight in your thought process?

The answer is almost always the same. In fact, only two have answered differently than the rest. Most reply that they are looking or waiting for the “One” female who will come into their life and complete them. Many are looking for that special girl who will come into their life, light up their heart and end their search.

When I hear these responses I am touched. I am also surprised that so many men feel this way. It is not so obvious and it’s a rather unexpected response in a heavily conditioned world that has trained us to view man as an unfeeling being who works hard, provides and who has been taught not to show emotion or “so called” feminine traits.

What I am seeing now, at this point in my life is that man truly needs woman, a woman who will love him, nurture him, create a home filled with beauty, good food and keep the life organized as she supports his efforts. These are also the attributes of a mother, which brings me to the significance of the beauty of woman.

It was a warm, sunny Sunday morning as Annette made her way down the dirt path that led to the quaint, little home where the wise woman lived at the end of the road. Annette was looking forward to her visit. The wise woman seemed to have answers to almost everything. Perhaps the wise woman could answer Annette’s question that had been brewing and mulling in her mind for months.

Annette knocked on the kitchen door, “Where art thou, my dear friend, wise woman?” she softly spoke as she slowly opened the door.

“I’m back here, sweetheart”, the wise woman replied as she made her way to the kitchen where Annette was standing. “What brings you on this fine day?”

“I am curious about some things”, Annette replied, “I have a few questions.”

“Ahhh my dear, come with me to my bedroom while I make my bed and finish preparing for the day”.

Annette followed the wise woman into her bedroom. “I want to show you the new coats that my friend gave to me. I am so excited. They are perfect for me”, she spoke as they walked down the hall to the bedroom. The wise woman opened her tall, mirror door to her closet.

“I’ll cover my eyes as you put on the coat. Let me know when you are ready to show me”, Annette giggled as she sat down on the bed and covered her eyes with her hands. She felt like a child again as the wise woman put on her coat and when she was ready replied, “Ok, I’m ready, open your eyes!”

“It’s beautiful, it’s perfectly you!” Annette cried out with joy as she took her first glance at the wise woman in her new coat.

“Yes, yes, I love it! It is as if it was made for me! Now close your eyes again, I have another coat to try on and model for you.” Annette closed her eyes, giggled and waited. “Ok, open your eyes!” said the wise woman when she had the coat on and in place.

“It’s perfect for you! My goodness, these are definitely your coats!”

“Yes, yes, they are! I love them! replied the wise woman with excitement and joy. The two women were like little girls playing dress up in the bedroom in front of the tall mirror door.

The wise woman took off her coat and hung both of the coats neatly on their hangars and in their respective places in the closet. She closed the closet door and walked over to the side of the bed.

Annette quickly moved to the opposite side of the bed where the wise woman was pulling up the sheets, fluffing the pillows and smoothing the comforter. Annette grabbed the sheet and cover on the side of the bed opposite of the wise woman so that she could assist her in making her bed. She fluffed the pillows, smoothed the covers and placed the shams just like the wise woman had done on her side of the bed.

“You usually place a lovely cloth in the middle of your bed for your meditation pillow and crystal, yes?” Annette asked looking up at the wise woman who already had her elegant cloth in hand and ready to spread in the middle of the bed for the meditation pillow and crystal. It was her bed altar where she held the symbol of love for herself and the space of power where she cleared and regenerated. Her bed was very sacred to her.

Annette smiled and assisted the wise woman with placing the cloth in the center of the bed and smoothing out all of the wrinkles. The wise woman tossed down her meditation pillow in the middle of the cloth and smiled, “Now, lets place the crystal on the pillow too. She reached for the crystal sitting on the table beside the bed and gently placed it in the center. “The altar is complete”, she said with a smile and a soft, gentle, happy sigh.

She quickly arranged the items on her bed stand and wiped the crumbs from her nighttime snack. She placed a clean, folded, laced napkin at the corner for when she returned in the evening to enjoy her snack while reading before falling to sleep.

Once the bedside tables were neatly arranged, she walked over to her dresser where she organized her pearl necklaces and other trinkets lying near. As she placed each item into the crystal bowl on her dresser, she spoke where it belonged and how neat and lovely the space on the dresser was becoming. Annette smiled. She enjoyed watching the wise woman create beauty with every thing she touched. She was truly magical.

“You are a joy to be near, dear one”, Annette spoke as the wise woman finished clearing the dresser.

“Follow me”, the wise woman said as she turned and started walking toward her bathroom. “You see, what is important is that you create a beautiful space where you can love yourself, nurture yourself. By cleaning, organizing and creating beauty in your most sacred space, you can easily move into other places and create more beauty. But it has to start here, in the bedroom and then in your bathroom. And it is not just cleaning the bathroom that is important, it is the beauty that you create in this environment that provides a calming, relaxed place where you can nurture yourself. So you put elegant things in key places that make you smile and feel special. It’s your own magical ritual for you”.

Annette smiled. The wise woman was already answering her questions before she had a moment to ask. That is how it is in when you are in the flow of life. Everything comes in a serendipitous way. It was one of those moments.

The wise woman walked out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen. Annette followed her as she made her way through the bedroom and down the hall.

“I think I will make apple strudel today with the apples that Diane gave me yesterday. They need to be used before they spoil and an apple strudel is sure to put a smile on each persons face who stops by today”.

Annette smiled again thinking of the delicious snack that would be prepared soon. The wise woman was an incredible cook and baker. Each day she had fresh baked, delicious snacks on her counter for visitors who would stop by randomly seeking her company. Most of them were men who needed a little nurturing and love. They didn’t really know why they would come so often, they just knew it made them feel better when they visited.

“Pour yourself a cup of coffee dear, there is enough here for both of us”, the wise woman said to Annette as she walked into the kitchen and over to the pitcher of coffee resting next to the crystal bowl of sugar and crystal creamer.

Annette smiled again, this magical wise woman loved to use crystal everyday. It made her feel special when she lifted the crystal lid to the sugar bowl. “Crystal should be used everyday”, Annette thought to herself as she emptied two spoons of sugar into her coffee.

By now the wise woman had walked out to her patio and sat down in her chair. Annette followed her out with cup in hand and sat down in the chair opposite of her at the small, garden table.

“Mmmmm, the birds sound so beautiful this morning”, Annette spoke out as she smiled and looked up from her cup after taking a sip.

“Yes, and I see that the some of the birds are slowly making their way to the bird feeder. See how some of them sit on the fence and take their time. I can just hear them saying, “I’m going to take my time and make sure that it is safe to fly down to the ground”. They will figure it out one of these days. Nothing has changed”, the wise woman said with a soft giggle as she watched them flutter about.

After a few minutes of light conversation, the wise woman rose from her seat and walked over to turn on the garden hose to water her flower garden. She didn’t miss a day in her watering and you could tell. All the plants in her tiny garden seemed vibrant and glowing and as if they were singing. They were happy plants.

The wise woman laid down her garden hose to soak the ground beneath the plants. She walked over to grab her broom to sweep her porch. There were a few peanut shells lying on the floor from feeding the wild Blue Jays earlier in the morning. She reached around to the inside of the door and grabbed a container filled with more peanuts. This time she tossed them off the porch and into the yard. “These are for the squirrels that come to visit and live nearby in that tree over there. Bizby has found a mate and they are eating much more food now with two of them preparing for their young that will be soon to come.”

“Oh look, the Lilacs are beginning to bloom!” the wise woman exclaimed as she walked past her tiny lilac bush at the end of the porch. “Soon we will have beautiful fragrant bouquets to fill the house with!”

“Spring has sprung!” laughed Annette in response.

The two women sat down at the table again to sit and chat some more.

“Did you attend finishing school?” asked Annette, “It seems as thought you have. You do everything perfect for the home. You are such a wonderful hostess as you tend to each little detail around you”.

“Oh no, dear. I didn’t even finish high school. I quit school in my seventh year. I was too unique to follow their rules. I did not enjoy school at all”, replied the wise woman.

The two women laughed and shared stories as they sipped on their cups of coffee and watched the birds play in the garden next to the porch.

As the women shared the conversation naturally led into the discussion of romance and love, men and their ways, women and their needs. Both women were not in a love relationship but surrounded by men who enjoyed their company and who were looking for that special “One”.

“Honesty is important in relating and bonding in love. If a person cannot look me in the eyes, I know there is fear there. And that fear is blocking the intimate connection that can occur between to two people, whether sex or friendship, the fear impacts and colors the relating”, the wise woman spoke. “If you can look into their eyes, there is integrity there but if they are not looking into my eyes, they are hiding something from me or they don’t care to connect at all. It is very simple. Look into the eyes and be authentic, be real. If someone cannot look into another’s eyes, they need to search their soul and see where they are out of integrity.”

The wise woman continued, “The truth of a person is in their behavior. That tells you everything. Just watch how a person behaves if you really want to know the truth about how they feel.”

“Go make yourself a glass of your favorite lemonade dear. There are a few lemons on the counter that Diane gave me yesterday. Take the rest with you and enjoy. And while you are in the kitchen, grab yourself a bowl of granola. There is dried fruit there too, just the way you like it and your favorite almond milk in the fridge”.

Annette was hungry and the wise woman knew. She always took such good care of her when she came to visit.

Annette got up from her chair and walked in to the kitchen to make her daily glass of lemonade and a small bowl of granola, just the way she liked it. The wise woman always knew what Annette loved and always seemed to have her favorite foods in her pantry and refrigerator. It was as if the wise woman kept them just for her visits. It made Annette feel special that the wise woman kept her in her thoughts.

Annette returned to the table. The wise woman continued, “You have to have space in your time together too. If someone is talking too much it is because of fear. There is an intimacy that can only come in the silence of togetherness. It is in the silence where love grows. If you can sit comfortably together in silence, you know that each of you are being authentically you, comfortable with each other with no fear, no hiding, no pretending, no stories, only contented togetherness”.

“Would you like to share a sandwich with me?” the wise woman asked as she rose from her chair to walk into the kitchen.

“Yes, I would love to”, Annette replied.

As the two women went into the kitchen, the wise woman handed Annette an orange, “Here dear, have this delicious orange while I prepare our sandwich”.

Annette pealed the orange and sat down at the kitchen table while the wise woman prepared their sandwich.

“If there is fear, look and see where you are out of integrity, search yourself and find what needs to be fixed, corrected, amended and then take care of it so that there is no fear”, the wise woman spoke as she sat the dish on the table and the two women shared their sandwich.

“Mmmmm….this orange is a delicious compliment to the sandwich”, Annette smiled and spoke as she tasted and enjoyed her snack.

“Yes, and I’m already onto dessert. I am having chocolate with pecans. A perfect compliment to the delicious sandwich I just ate. You finish the rest of the sandwich while I enjoy my dessert”.

Annette laughed. It was always fun visiting the wise woman and it often made her feel like a child again, playing, laughing, enjoying and moving from one beautiful, delicious moment into another”.

“Dear wise woman, I think you have answered my question before I have had a chance to ask”, Annette giggled.

“Wonderful, now lets do a little more cleaning before we relax, you grab the vacuum and sweep the carpet while I clean and organize the guest bathroom. Then we will be ready for company as they come to visit today”.

Annette got up from her chair and happily grabbed the vacuum to sweep the carpet. This time she took extra special care to sweep the carpet well. She even took the attachment and vacuumed the corners and sides of the wall. She wanted to give the wise woman a special gift of appreciation as she gave a little extra effort to her task.

“Oh how wonderful, you really did a great job, thank you”, exclaimed the wise woman as she finished cleaning the guest bathroom and entered the living room. “It makes such a difference when things are in place, clean and organized. It just feels better and you are ready to receive your guests without embarrassment or hesitation. Now do something special for yourself. What do you need to do for yourself today that I can help provide?”

Annette smiled and replied, “It has already happened. Thank you for showing what the beauty of a woman is through our sharing today. I feel loved, nurtured, surrounded by beauty and I see how you bring more of this to everyone who encounters you as you nurture and love yourself first”.


True story – only the names have been changed.


God Therapy


Jesus and the children.1

Matthew 18:1-3 (NIV) “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

“He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.

And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven…”

The above quote is from a passage where Jesus is teaching his disciples that the way to find the Kingdom of God within is to become like a child. He refers to this “Kingdom of God” many times throughout his teachings insisting that there must be a changing of the nature.

Growing up in a Christian home and school, this Bible verse was quoted often in Sunday school and memorized each year in grade school as we studied the Bible from cover to cover. After high school, I attended a Christian seminary to become a certified family and marriage counselor and a licensed minister. I have been deeply ingrained and conditioned in the Christian teachings.

For many years, I did not have a clue what this passage meant. I sat beneath many teachers, preachers and professors; none of them could truly explain what it truly meant finding the “kingdom of god within”.

There is a common thread throughout many of the ancient teachings that convey our child like innocence is the way to Source or our creator. This place of innocence and wonderment is buried deep inside most of us.

Our child nature may have never had the chance to come out and play, feel safe and just be a child. Life is a challenging journey at times. We lose touch with our Higher Source as we begin to take on the influences of our environment and the belief systems of those around us. Seldom are we given the opportunity to be free like a child on the playground, happily swinging away, flying down the slide, spinning on the merry go round or running from one place to the other.

Do you remember those days?

When there is a crisis, trauma and depression there is also the chance of closing down the vulnerable part of who we are. We grow callous from life’s experience and the state of wonder fades from our being. Through the practice of connecting with this innocent, child-like part of who we are, we enter into a changing of the nature.

Taking time out to be a child again is fabulous for assisting in calming the body and quieting the mind. It is in that calm, innocent, vulnerable space where we connect with Source. Private playtime is what I call, “God Therapy”. It’s that moment when one leaves worry and stress outside the door. Interruptions are not allowed because it’s time to be alone with the tender, innocent part of our self.

Our innocent, playful creative inner child actually leads us away from our nagging mental tapes. It shows us who we really are without the conditioning and influences of others and the expectations that surround us. Our inner child actually doesn’t even like the mental tapes or the expectations that others impose so it will take the mind in a different direction, naturally, easily.

Poetry, paintings, music, sketches, crafts, running, jumping, gardening and writing are a few of the many ways that we can let go and sink into being a child again. Without the judgment and censoring of the mind and with the freedom to create whatever comes up, just like a child, this is where one finds Source, our Kingdom within.

Consider creating your own private play space with an altar that contains those symbols, tools, toys and items that best represent your process of connecting with your inner child.

A kaleidascope is a wonderful way to wake up to the day. Keep one close to the bedkaleidoscope and handy for those moments when you need a reminder.

Coloring books and crayons, an easel with a canvas and a set of paints, fabric pieces for a quilt, a playful army set or a model car or airplane, even a train set are great examples of how you can create a play space just for you.

You may even want to consider playtime clothing. You can make your own celebration dress of your favorite fabrics and colors. You can choose your own costume for playing the different roles and archetypes that you resonate with.

The important thing is to not be critical or judge what you create in your playtime. Give your inner child the freedom to express who it is at the core of its being.

You may even want to give your inner child a name.

Gradually, over time, during this quiet, alone playtime, a synthesis occurs through becoming innocent and free in our connection with Source.

Everybody needs a little bit of “God Therapy” once in awhile.



Kashi Rachel Stone 2015